Or; how things are going generally

get some wedding rings

Did this.

(A short insight:

Matt, presenting rose gold man’s ring in shape of snake: So, what can you tell me about this?

Jeweller: It’s a rose gold man’s ring shaped liked a snake.

Matt: Thank you)

Observations about rings: Everything looks a bit Elizabeth Duke on paper, whereas on the finger only around ninety five percent of it does. Rings are largely horrible. I will be wearing something very plain and restrained, which will be offset nicely by my MASSIVE COCKTAIL ROCK. The snake is being melted down, unfortunately.

find something for M to wear that isn’t a) a cape, b) shorts or c) channelling David Carradine

Progress is limited. Things Matt has threatened to wear thus far:

1. Swastika tiepin

2. Ruffles

3. “Shiny maroon”

4. “Jewels on my shirt collar”

5. Mentioned looking for inspiration via Google image search. When asked who was inspiring him in particular, said “David Carradine”. He doesn’t even read this blog.

lose, like, 20lb

Progressing. I have real live non-Tesco Value scales. I have a fridge full of pickled items. I have a gym membership. I have 144lb. Herp! I brought a two-litre Diet Coke into the house for the first time yesterday; felt like I’d bought crack.

pick some readings

Yeah so check this out;

Is love pleasure, is love merriment?
No, love is longing constantly;
love is persevering unwearedly;
love is hoping patiently;
love is willing surrender;
love is regarding constantly the pleasure and displeasure of the beloved,
for love is resignation to the will of the possessor of one’s heart;
it is love that teaches us: Thou, not I.

- Hazrat Inayat Khan
Gayan, Vadan, Nirtan

Chipper! Your basic two options for readings, you see, are either in this opened-in-the-bathtub vein, or a drippy, flowery, dolphins-and-Sanskrit sort of flavour that makes me do a sick. And whilst I’m not a great proponent of barfing rainbows in front of my sniggering in-laws, if the alternative is the apparently serene suggestion that the wedding itself is just a cake-related formality before the long hard slog unto resignation and longing and dull patience and the complete disinclination to crack a smile until it’s forced upon you through grim partnered rigor mortis, then bring on the dancing Care Bears.

Good grief, if marriage is such a thankless slog then you’re doing it wrong.

… So I’m really thinking about breaking out the Ogden Nash (“Somehow, I can be complacent / Never but with you adjacent”?) and Robert Fulgham (“And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together”. I HAVE SOMETHING IN MY EYE).

Or Lear. Lear would bring the house down.